The Scars I So Lovingly Gave
by Sweetly-Sadistic's-Romanticide
Summary: There's a new girl at Hogwarts, a halfbreed wolf. Death awaits her unless Remus gives her something he's been dreading to give: The Bite. Desperate to escape death and to find the love that has eluded her, will Babette and Remus overcome thepain together?
1. Chap 1: The Love Of Burning Letters

"Would you drop it, Padfoot?! Its over and done with so why are you still going on about it?" Remus asked irritably, lowering the book he held to glower at his friend. Sirius and him sat out by the lake under the willow, basking in the last summers warmth, enjoying the sound of the birds before they disappeared completely.

Sirius ran a hand over his thick raven hair before turning a crooked grin at him. Nearby a gaggle of first through fifth year girls sat on the lawn, pretending to ignore them but sneaking glances at the notorious Black and his quiet friend. More or less at the latter but Remus preferred it that way.

"I can't drop it because…" Sirius motioned for him to lean closer as he sat up, as if he wanted to include him in on a secret. "It was so damn funny!"

With that he collapsed into hearty laughter despite Remus's annoyed, disdainful look. Closing the heavy volume titled _Serendipitous Spells _he sighed and sank back against the woody trunk of the willow, his hazel eyes staring off at the shining lake.

"I didn't think it was so funny. I feel rather bad about it."

"Oh, come on. It was hilarious! Amelia Rockburn asking you out? That bearded toad?"

"Don't call her that. She's just…"

"Ugly as a grub? Honestly, you should get a girlfriend soon or else these trolls will never leave you alone," Sirius advised solemnly, as if doing so would save his life. Remus brushed a lock of golden chestnut hair from his pale eyes, glaring at him.

"Well, sorry I'm not some sex idol girls fawn over such as yourself. If you have so many devoted toys then why are you still single?" he fired back venomously. Sirius feigned an insulted and hurt look. Clasping a hand to his chest he gasped.

"Moony! You're breaking my heart with your jealousy. Come now, that's no way to win my affection," he admonished in mock severity. "I mean, really, where's the flowers and candy?"

"Oh, shove it, Padfoot."

Gathering up his bag and his book Remus got up, ignoring Sirius who whined like a beat puppy. Walking off in a brisk pace, he let slip a smirk as his friend followed on his knees playfully.

"No, come back to me, my love!" Sirius shrieked in fake hysteria. The girls stared in amusement, giggling, as the tall, handsome youth collapsed in outrageous tears.

"I won't forgive you, Moony!"

"Oh well!" Remus laughed, trotting up the slope, turning around to smirk at the group of love struck females. "Ladies, you can have him. Be careful though; he's ticklish."

"Moony!" Sirius exclaimed in shock, looking over at the girls who appeared to seriously consider attacking him with prods and dancing fingers. Remus ignored him, snickering as he went up the stone steps into Hogwarts, practically invisible to everyone else.

He wasn't as well known as Sirius or James but honestly he liked not being in the spotlight. In that position, rumors are more likely to run rampant and that was not something the Marauders needed. By nature, he was never one to enjoy being on the spot or the one whispered about. He didn't want a fan club or groupies or any of those things Sirius seemed to enjoy so much.

The inside of the castle was surprisingly cooler, a little chill clinging to the stones and statues. As he went up the corridors he glanced out the windows at the October sky with its few fluffy clouds and sweet heat. Pictures snoozed contentedly in their frames, unbothered by the low murmur of students and teachers in the halls. Most were heading down to dinner where Halloween decorations were already hung. Once and a while a large bat would swoop above, chattering away what sounded like the Trick-Or-Treat rhyme. Orange and black garland slunk about the suits of armor and along the rafters in the ceiling.

As Remus reached the Gryffindor common room, he realized that there was no one in this part of the school. Walking into the room, he looked about the red and gold furnished area, searching for anything out of the ordinary. Nope, just completely abandoned of life. After dropping off his bag he was about to head down to dinner before something caught his eye.

A hardback, worn novel lay on a table near the dead fireplace, the golden faded words glittering in the warm light that streamed in from the setting sun. Picking it up Remus read the title, raising a thick but elegant eyebrow in question.

"_The Love Of Burning Letters_?"

"Oh, you found it," a voice rang out from upstairs. Startled, Remus turned to find a girl coming down from her dormitory. "I thought I'd really lost it this time. I'm so forgetful sometimes."

She had long sable hair, dancing in tight ringlet spirals down her back and along her shoulders, over her clean uniform. Her face was heart shaped, pert and smooth with laugh lines about her mouth which seemed like a partially bloomed rose.

Remus handed her the novel, looking down at her long fingers and soft palms in comparison to his thinner and heavily scarred ones. She clutched it to her chest, lovingly holding it like a treasure, her honeyed chocolate eyes shining in admiration ringed by long dark lashes.

"I really love this book. Thanks for finding it."

Remus shook his head, repelling the temporary fog. For the moment he had contented himself in listening to her voice, listening to the lilting tune it carried like a passionate wind.

"No problem. My names Remus," he replied finally, feeling rather stupid for not answering sooner. Almost timidly he stuck out his hand for lack of anything else to say. She shook it firmly, a smile widening on her face. Her skin was warm compared to his generally cold flesh.

"Babette, my names Babette. I already knew yours; I had to grade Professor Slughorn's papers and I'm in your Potions class," she commented, stowing her book into her bag.

"Are you heading down to dinner?" Remus asked suddenly, not sure why he asked. She looked up at him before nodding lightly.

"Yeah, unless its already over. You?"

"Um, yeah. Want to walk with me down?" he blurted quickly. She frowned a little amusedly, her thoughtful eyebrows arching before she smiled again.

"Sure."

As they walked silently, Babette twiddling her fingers on the strap of her bag and Remus pointedly fixated on the stairs ahead, the sun finally disappeared behind the mountains in a bloody end. Babette gave an awkward cough.

"So…Halloween's coming up."

"Yep, next weekend."

"What're you going as?"

"A suicide victim, maybe."

"Wow," Babette breathed, not really impressed but sounding a little horrified. Remus glanced at her from the corner of his eyes to find her looking a bit sad. "Nice choice. It'll give people a laugh."

"You know I was joking, right?" he asked consolingly, trying to lighten her sudden malady. Babette smiled at him slightly, hiding her emotions easily. "So what're you going to be?"

"A possessed clown doll. I find that it suits me," she replied in a comfortable tone but unable to hide the ironic stoniness in her statement. Remus looked at her curiously, giving her a hand over a trick step.

"How? How does it suit you?" he asked. Babette stopped to study him, her brown eyes examining his seriously, as though looking for some sort of sinister underlying motive. After a moment she smiled as if the answer didn't matter and continued walking.

"I often find that I am someone's loving fool more often than not. Possessed by some crazy idea that makes me believe that they mean the best. I'm more of an idiot than a clown but…oh well," she shrugged simply, shifting her bag as they reached the Great Hall. The noise of the students clamoring and laughing drifted to their ears along with the aroma of food.

"So I'll see you later?" Remus said slowly, rather hoping she said yes. With a shy but bright nod she left, waving to him. The young werewolf stood there, trying to correlate his thoughts. Someone's loving fool…


	2. Chap 2: Family Problems

-1"I HATE that stupid git!" James practically snarled as he stormed out of Transfiguration, parting a small crowd of second years with his foul glare. Remus and Sirius lagged behind with Peter, trying hard not to laugh at him. The back of James's head was now bald of all its jet black hair, the edges of the patch singed and smoking.

"Well, Prongs, if you hadn't prodded Snape, Lily wouldn't've-"

"Moony? Shut up before I make you," James growled moodily, stalking up to the Defense Against The Dark Arts classroom. Peter and Sirius broke off to go down to the next level for Charms, leaving Remus with the irritable and aggressive Potter. He tried to help his depressive anger by giving hints to remedy his hair problem which in result did lift his grumbling.

A queue had formed in front of the class, waiting for the teacher by the time they had arrived. Going to the end of it, James waved at a couple of people while shooting murderous glares at the snickering Slytherins. Remus knew he'd rebound easily like he always did. Besides, something else caught his attention.

Babette sat on the opposite side of the hall, her nose buried in the book she had lost the day before. No one sat near her and girls in the line cast her dirty looks which she didn't notice. Tiny, high heeled feet poked out of her long robes, bobbing slightly to a rhythm Remus couldn't detect.

Walking over he noticed a pair of headphones over her ears, blaring music. Sitting down next to her, he waited for her to acknowledge his existence. After a few moments, Remus grabbed a wire and pulled it delicately from her ear.

"Hello."

Babette's head whipped over to look at him, an expression of surprise stamped on her face. A smile spread on her lips when she realized who it was. Taking off her head phones she closed her book.

"Hey, I didn't realize you had this class."

"What're you listening to?" Remus asked instead of answering her, hearing rather interesting lyrics singing their way to his ears. She turned it up for him and held out a side, still cupped near her neck. When he leaned over to listen he caught the scent of vanilla and coconut from her with his werewolf nose.

"It's a band called Nightwish. I like this song especially; its called Beauty and the Beast. The title caught my attention cause I always liked the story so…" she trailed off, noting the surprised look on Remus's face. She turned a light shade of pink and stared at her hands, looking embarrassed and frustrated. "Alright, go ahead and say it."

"Say what?"

"That I'm weird and stupid or I'm a freak or- you know what? Just throw all of them in my face so they don't have to," she nodded almost viciously at the girls across the hall. Remus laughed humorlessly and ran his hands over his tired face. Babette didn't seem to appreciate his amusement.

"Why would I say that?"

"Cause they all do. They're always like that. 'Oh, yeah, she's a nice girl,' but as soon as they hear me go on…oh forget it."

"Was that what you thought I was going to say? No, I just thought it was funny because Beauty and the Beast was my favorite too," he admitted, lowering his voice so the eavesdropping queue couldn't hear. Babette smiled ruefully, almost dryly before she shook her head.

"You don't need to say such things to cheer me up. I know I'm weird."

"No, really! When I was younger I always wished some beautiful girl would come and make me a prince," he said before adding in a rushed voice, "That was when I was little, of course."

Babette gave him a bemused look before putting her headset away and standing up.

"Maybe you'll find her someday. You're still young."

"Maybe."

Babette opened her mouth to say something but instead her face twisted in a mask of pain. Hissing and whimpering, she leaned against the wall, sliding down, her hand clutching at her heart as if to rip it out. Concerned, Remus sat up and looked about to find others staring but not offering any help.

"Hey, are you okay? What's wrong?" he asked worriedly, his voice almost frantic as she leaned forward, hiding her face in her knees. Putting a hand on her shoulder he found her breathing to be hitched and strained, each gasp short and erratic.

"I-I'm fine…I…just get these…pains!" the last word came out in a loud gasp before she shuddered and sat still, her breathing slowing down and evening out. The professor had arrived and Remus heard a student asking for help.

The teacher merely aimed a disgusted look at the shivering student and went into the classroom, ignoring Babette and the glances she earned. A fire of anger sprang up in his chest but he squashed it under a weight of confusion. What had she done to earn that?

"Sorry about that. It happens a lot," a quiet murmur came from Babette. Remus looked to find her sitting up slowly, her hand still plastered to her chest. Her face was extraordinarily pale and drawn, as if she had been sick for years.

"What happened?"

A small dry smile crossed her lips as she stood up again, gathering her things.

"Lets just say it's a family problem," she responded elusively, waiting for him to get up. When her answer didn't dispel his concern she grinned. "Don't worry. I'll survive."


	3. Chap 3: The Savior

-1'The weight doubled, tripled, piled on like lead

Upon his shoulders, aching in tune with his pounding head'

Remus eyed the page in frustration, scribbling out a few words then replacing them with better ones. Underlined at top was the title of the poem he had started during lunch, 'Crumbling'. The idea had started with the story of Atlas and the world on his shoulders but somehow it ended up revolving around himself.

'Sweat pours down his brow, stinging his eyes

Those pained pools he turned to the skies

His knees are giving out, his arms are quaking

Breath coming in short gasps, shaking

But hope is in his heart, a fire of adoration

For those cold little stars of loving consolation'

Growling quietly in frustration, he scribbled on a spare piece of parchment with his eagle quill. The stupid thing stopped working for a good three minutes before it spluttered and started again. With an annoyed sigh he leaned back from the table, his hands folding together to crack before lying limp in his lap. The library was utterly silent beyond the sound of students below on the grounds. He wasn't entirely surprised; it was the last few days of warmth before Halloween.

It had been a couple of days since he had last seen Babette, either in class or in the corridors. Maybe she had been called home. When he asked the teachers they merely gave him a strange look before saying it was not his business.

'They are the shining diamonds of his life

Who cut through his pain like a knife

And as he smiled at his amours, body like a shell

Those lights blinked out, leaving him in hell'

For a few minutes he stopped and looked at his hands and the scars that adorned them. Only a few days ago they had grown into paws, carpeted in fur the colors of grey and black. Setting his elbow on the table he rested his chin in his palm and gazed out the window. It was a clear cerulean blue day with a gentle breeze. He should be out there with his classmates and friends but the last transformation left him too sensitive to the sun and harsh lights.

'In agony he screams, falling to the ground

His knees are breaking, his flesh a thousand dead pounds

'Why, O God, do you make me suffer?

How much pain can you inflict, can you muster?

My bones are cracking, my heart is stopping,

My blood is spilling, my veins are popping

Let me die in peace, O Lord, give me back

My loves who install strength I now lack.'

To his despair the bleak hand did not fall

God did not hear his plea, heed his call

Tears fell as he miserably gave in

His heaven gone, the only inspiration of men'

Remus's eyes darted to the side and he jumped, realizing Professor Dumbledore stood there calmly. The elder man smiled gently, half apologetically from startling him. His blue eyes twinkled as he looked at the young werewolf who still had scratched scabs on his tired face.

"Remus, I need to talk to you in private," he whispered, careful not to disturb the peace of the library. Without a thought of mistrust or fear of being in trouble, Remus stood up and collected his books, scrolls and quills. He trusted Dumbledore without any doubts and would do anything he said to. It was because of him that he was even in school.

As they walked down the corridors Dumbledore chuckled amusedly.

"I liked your poem, Remus, I never spotted you as one for rhyming," he said lightly. Remus colored slightly but said nothing in return. He was led to an empty classroom, where the small Professor Dippet stood, arms crossed and a very upset look on his face. He had retired as headmaster and was now a teacher but Remus knew Dumbledore asked for advice on subjects.

"Sit down, Remus," Dumbledore instructed as he pointed to an empty desk. As he did so the older wizard stepped back and looked on with a somewhat satisfied expression. In response, face red, Dippet came up and leaned on Remus's desk, hands spread on the top, nose merely inches from his.

"Mr. Lupin, considering the situation with your…problem, we have an immense favor to ask."

Remus looked worriedly at Dumbledore who nodded slightly in reassurance then said, "What kind of favor, sir?"

"There is a student…" Dippet paused, lowered his head and swallowed angry curses. Nothing happened for a while.

"Please continue," Dumbledore prodded a bit forcefully. The man cast a furious at him before turning his vile glare at Remus.

"She has similar issues as yourself and-"

"She's a werewolf?"

"No, not exactly. Don't interrupt. She's only a half-breed; born from one human mother and a werewolf father."

Remus sat back, astounded and confused. They were allowing another? A half-breed? He hadn't thought it completely possible. He swallowed, his throat suddenly dry. The idea had never came to him that maybe there would be others like him here.

"What do you want from me?"

"She needs help. Help only you can offer. You understand the process of transformation, correct? The bones snap and reform as the skin changes to that of fur. Painful," Professor Dumbledore answered when Dippet didn't. "She is unable to complete transformation due to a loss of a few genes and hormones the mother prevented. She experiences the change slowly throughout her entire lifespan. Imagine her changing life as one long full moon night."

"But wouldn't that mean-"

"Yes, it does. I'm glad you have caught on. Right now she is experiencing minor changes but perhaps in this year her bones will slowly stretch and crack and her organs will slow due to pain. Remus, she will more than likely die from this and if she was to endure it and survive, she would be forever trapped inside the body of a werewolf."

Dumbfounded, Remus sat silently, trying to get his mind moving. It was like the wheels of his brain had slowed to a near stop. It didn't make sense at first but slowly he came to understand the science of her problem. Closing his eyes he lowered his head to his hands, trying to think of any other solution.

"Please say you are not asking for what I think you are," he pleaded softly. His voice had grown tight, shaky and painful. Dippet suddenly whirled about, storming over to the window that peered down to the grounds, grumping thunderously.

"Told you it was a bad idea…" he muttered towards Dumbledore who ignored him but focused on the student before him. Kneeling next to his desk he studied Remus's bowed head and his silent frustration.

"We know the risks and how hard it must be for you. We already have her consent."

"And her parents?"

"Abandoned her years ago. At least the mother did, the father was gone nine months before her birth," Dumbledore paused, seeming to gather courage to finish the request. "We need you to add the final links in her DNA so she can complete transformation like a normal werewolf."

Remus looked up, a wild look of desperation in his eyes.

"But isn't there-"

"Another way? No, I wish there was. There is no cure for a full bred wolf. It is the same for a half breed."

"Have they tried the process but with human genes?"

"Yes and the results were a painful death. That attempt was years ago with a young boy and it has not been made again. Are you suggesting we just condemn her to death instead of giving her a life, albeit a cursed one?" Dippet demanded furiously. Remus was confused on the headmaster's stand on this: one minute he acted as though he hated the plan and then the next he was supporting it.

Dumbledore silently watched the young werewolf for a minute, his periwinkle eyes serious and sad.

"Remus, the difference in choosing to be bitten is either what you are or death."

"If you do agree, the Ministry requires that you stay in class with her and keep her under your supervision," Dippet added, still fuming over at the window, not looking at them. "We don't need accidents-"

"Will you help?" Dumbledore cut in gently, resting his wizened hand on the boy's shoulder. "I only ask you because I trust you to be as careful as you can be."

A bit dizzy from the request, Remus looked up at his teacher and studied his face, trying to look for some sort of lie. But Dumbledore had never led him astray and he knew that what he suggested was best probably was.

Remus had hoped all his life he would never have to or accidentally curse someone with the nightmare he lived in. Some hidden part of him feared that maybe if it never happened he would somehow be redeemed. He realized that it wasn't his fault but he still feared he was condemned for simply being what he was.

The rational side of him yelled to ignore his paranoid superstitions and look at the science of it. She was going to die, who ever she was, if he didn't help her.

"Alright," he croaked finally, struggling to breathe. "I'll do it."

Dippet gave a sigh, one he couldn't distinguish from relief or disappointment. Dumbledore merely studied him before smiling reassuringly and clasped his shoulder.

"Good, brave lad. She's being brought up to meet you. The bite will have to be next full moon. Don't worry. She's eager for it to happen," he said with a wink. Turning to the still furious Dippet he bowed lowly.

"You won't regret this, I think. She's a brilliant girl and she will be fine."

With a great harrumph Dippet stormed out, slamming the heavy door and waking up a painting of a nun who grumbled. Dumbledore stood up and conjured a comfortable chair and sat down, putting his fingers together like a steeple. He fixed his weary gaze on Remus.

"I'm very sorry. I never wanted this burden to fall on you. But I trust your judgment and care above all others."

"Others like me."

The older man smiled dryly.

"Point being is that I know she'll be fine in your hands."

Remus fiddled with his hands, feeling somewhat guilty and scared.

"Professor? What if it doesn't work? What if I fail?" he asked in a burst, panicked and mildly frightened. "Will she die?"

Before Dumbledore could answer there was a quiet knock at the door, sending Remus's heart rocketing against his ribcage.

"Come in, dear," Dumbledore called invitingly. There was a pause then the door cracked open enough to admit a person. A girl sidled in and closed the door.

"Miss Jacobson?" Dumbledore inquired easily, ignoring Remus's shocked expression. The girl spotted him and a look of horror dawned on her face.

"Remus?"

"Babette?"

"You're the one?" they both exclaimed in surprise. The older wizard watched the exchange with mild amusement.

"Well, I'm glad we got to skip introductions."


	4. Chap 4: Breaking

-1"You need to what?!" Sirius barked loudly as they sat at dinner that evening. James stared at Remus in abject horror, his glasses crooked and spoon of potatoes nearly in his mouth, forgotten since the beginning of the conversation. His neck was covered in purple-black bruises, Lily's doing of course. Peter jumped at Sirius's loud yell and dropped his knife.

Sirius glared at Remus with grey-blue eyes as the werewolf tried to shush him frantically. Peter's mousy head disappeared under the table to retrieve his silverware. The other classmates at their table turned to stare at them with Remus red faced, Sirius pissed to no end, James choking and Peter resurfacing. After a moment of curious looks they turned back to their own dinners and conversations.

"You need to do what?" Sirius growled again, still looking mutinous. His dark, shaggy hair framed his strong featured face as he glowered. His eyes stared hard at Remus. "You can't do that."

"I can and I have to. Didn't you hear me? She'll die if I decide not to. You didn't see her in pain," Remus whispered back, patting James's back as the boy coughed and hacked.

"So? Its not your problem, Moony," James finally gasped, his hazel eyes watery. Settling back he readjusted his glasses. "I bet there's lots of half breeds out there. You going to play hero with all of them? Going to turn them all, mate?"

Remus closed his eyes and rubbed them with his forefinger and thumb. Good God, he had a headache!

"No, no, I'm not going to do that. But Dumbledore said there was no other way to save her. Would you rather I just let her die and have that on my already guilty conscience?" he replied wearily, glancing down the table at Babette. James, Sirius and Peter leaned as well, trying to get a glimpse of her.

Babette sat near the head table, politely listening to Jessie Cornwall chat away about the hottest wizard music band. She looked bored out of her mind and annoyed but she hid it under nods and smiles. Remus had a feeling that that type of prattle didn't interest her.

"She's pretty cute," Peter randomly commented. All three of them turned amazed and incredulous looks upon him. The boy turned pink and sunk in his seat. James laughed a bit and Remus shook his head.

"Wormtail? I don't think that is the point," James chuckled. "As true as it might be, its really not what we are talking about."

"What's true?" a voice queried behind him, making him jump and freeze.

"Nothing!" he said before he had turned around fully. Lily put her hands on her shapely hips, eyeing him suspiciously. Despite her shorter stature, her fiery hair and inquisitive green eyes made her rather frightening when she glared.

"What were you looking at?" she asked, trying to feign sweetness. Sirius chose the time to be cheeky and grinned innocently.

"Nothing but checking out a hot girl!" he replied as if it was nothing at all. At first she didn't react. A shocked, stunned look was on her face but it gradually dissolved to a heatedly furious one. Remus swore he could hear her teeth grinding in anger as her cheeks flushed and her fists clenched.

"Was that what you were up to?" Lily demanded tightly through her teeth. James sank in his seat, clearly shooting a glare of death at Sirius who merely grinned. Remus noticed Babette getting up to leave and similarly slipped away from the upcoming fit and berating his friend was doomed to endure.

"Babette!" he called out when he spotted her going up the stairs to the library. She whirled about, her dark brown tresses moving delicately. At first she looked furious someone was bothering her again but then her expression melted into one of sad embarrassment. Before he could say anymore she began running up the stairs, skipping steps.

"Wait! Babette! Wait!" Remus hollered as he began sprinting upwards, trying to catch up. After five minutes of only seeing her cloak whip around a corner, he heard a loud, pained cry and a solid thud.

When he turned the bend he found her sitting on a step, clutching her shin and rocking in pain. Babette looked up as he sat on the stair next to her leg, her eyes wild and full of tears.

"The bone is stretching and cracking, isn't it?" he asked quietly, sympathetically. She bit her lower lip as a salty drop streaked her cheek, dripping off her chin. Giving a nod, she rubbed her leg gently, trying to ease the pain of the bone breaking.

"Yeah, it hurts so-so damn bad," she answered through clenched teeth. Remus reached out and tenderly brushed his fingers over her exposed leg, trying to think of a way to end this pain.

"Don't worry. It'll all end soon," he murmured distractedly, trying to make himself believe that. Babette stared at him, at the way he rubbed her shin. The skirt she wore went only to her knees and it almost embarrassed her to have him touch her leg.

"It won't end, Remus, don't lie to me."

He looked up to find her studying him fixedly, analyzing him. The way she looked at him made him nervous and guilty.

"I'm sorry I can't give you something better."

Babette flushed and looked away at her hands.

"I can't ask for more. Unless I want to die, there's nothing else we can do. Honestly, I shouldn't be whining like this," she reprimanded herself harshly before attempting to stand. A muffled whimper escaped her before she sat down again, pain shimming up her leg like electric pulses.

"All I can really say is that the pain will be quicker and will end sooner," Remus reassured, at a loss for other words. Babette stifled a sob, her hands frantically wiping at unbidden tears.

"Then I hope the full moon is sooner than the calendar says."


	5. Chap 5: Halloween Pains

-1"Moony? Nice costume. Where'd you get it?" James asked incredulously, eyeing his friend with either distaste or envy. Remus stood there, feeling rather bashful in his outfit. He wore a dark velvety blue Frenchman's frock coat with gold lining and cufflinks, a clean white scarf raised at the chest from a golden vest. Along with black breeches and white stockings were dark shoes. A blue silk ribbon tied black whatever golden brown hair was in the back but tendrils still managed to dance about his brow.

"Yeah, where did you get that piece of junk?" Sirius repeated, plucking at one of the sleeves. Remus shrugged him off, already uncomfortable enough without needing their nitpicking.

"Its an old suit from the year 1765. My dad preserved it and let me borrow it for Halloween as long as I was careful with it," he replied stiffly. "So stop pulling at the cufflinks!"

Peter snapped his hand away, looking embarrassed. James wore a pirate outfit with brown boots, holding the tucked in white trousers. Along with a brown vest and blood red poets shirt was a bandana over his wild black hair. Lily stood next to him in an old fashioned Elizabethan ball dress, a mild yellow with white lace trimming and sleeves. Her red hair was drawn up in a bun with locks curling down about her shoulders. Whenever James would reach out at her she beat his hand with a fancy paper fan, stinging it easily.

Sirius was dressed in a devilish vampire ensemble. A thick black cloak covered his broad shoulders and a silver threaded vest with a handsome midnight shirt stretched over his chest. Dressed like some solemn gentleman he fit the part with slicked back hair and tiny eye teeth he glued in.

Peter found himself wearing a costume which didn't seem as glamorous as the others. His parents sent him only enough to get a skeleton costume which ended up being a black suit with bones painted over it. Remus attempted to make it better by conjuring up a rather convincing moving skull head.

"Where's your date Sirius? Surely you have one?" Remus mocked as they headed down towards the Great Hall. "I mean with all those loving groupies?"

Sirius rolled his eyes and grinned. He puffed out his chest and looked solemn.

"I could not choose a date cause then there would be hurt jealous girls. I'm going alone…so I'm free to flirt!" he laughed with bravado, upsetting the vampire image. Other students were walking down as well, first years in simpler, less revealing outfits and seventh years practically in nothing.

"Do you have a date, Remus? I told you I'd set you up if you didn't. I did for Peter," Lily insisted kindly, meanwhile beating James on the head for trying to grab her again.

"I have a date. She's downstairs. Who'd she set you up with?"

Peter looked rather flustered and red. He looked away before putting on his skull mask, curly brown hair poking out from under it.

"Poppy Grant, that one fourth year in Ravenclaw. She's really sweet," Lily answered for him as they reached the hall. The golden light from thousands of candles and leering pumpkins hit her sparkling necklace and temporarily dazed the boys. Students milled about, some dancing, eating or chatting. Bats flittered up above, dancing between the stars from the sky and the light clouds. Shadows threw themselves on the walls with the House ghosts. Dark music thundered through the floor as if they were in the midst of a storm, lulling and crashing. Writhing tendrils of tinsel convulsed about statues and snagged at several students, causing frightened squeaks.

Remus wandered off from his group, searching for Babette. There were many girls in a thousand different costumes, some throwing suggestive looks at him, others too focused on their partners. After a few minutes he spotted a lone one sitting in a corner by herself, twiddling her long fingers.

Babette sat in a low backed red chair, her head lowered. The tumble of sable curls was half drawn back from her face, held with vanilla flower pins. A white half mask covered the top of her face, letting her chocolate honeyed eyes peer out demurely from its confines. Her lips were curved downwards in a slight frown, rouged with a light pink. She wore a low cut Grecian style dress the color of alabaster with pinned silk straps, the ends whispering about her sandaled feet. Painted over her eyes in long red lines were streaks, dancing from her brow down her eye to her cheeks. Similar bloody seeming lines cut jaggedly across her mouth, giving her the appearance of a grinning masquerade doll.

"Babette?" Remus asked loudly over the blaring music. Her head jerked up and he found himself looking at almost a statue. Her skin had paled considerably and her lips and eyes stood out brilliantly against the white of her outfit. The red lines looked like fresh cuts on her face, as if dripping blood. The effect was broken almost immediately and she smiled sweetly.

"Remus? You look great," she yelled, standing up to greet him. Thankfully for his keen ears he had no problem hearing her.

"Thanks, you look…amazing!" he hollered back as they walked along the edges of the mass of students. A barely noticeable blush stained her cheeks but she smiled.

"I found it at Diagon Alley last year and never had a chance to wear it! Where'd you get that?!"

"Family heirloom!"

"Oh! Do you wanna dance?!" she screamed, grabbing his hand in question. An almost electric charge ran through him and his skin tingled at the warmth of her flesh. He nodded mutely as she led him out into the closely pressed crowd, pushing for the middle. Once they reached a spot Babette turned and smiled at him, swaying her hips slightly to the music invitingly.

Awkwardly Remus mimicked her movements, stepping sideways and back, looking at his feet. He felt so stupid amongst them all, trying hard to dance. He had never been too good at it and now he really regretted it. Around them people were starting to dance rather wildly as the music changed to a louder, crazier tune.

To his amazement Babette came closer, within inches of his body, shifting her hips and tapping her feet in beat with the music. He looked up into her brown eyes and smiled to find her happy. Being rather brave, he hooked an arm about her waist and twirled her around him, spinning her out to arms length then reeling her back.

She laughed delightedly but he couldn't hear her at all. The noise was too loud and it pounded through his body and drowned out thought. He felt himself laughing and smiling a lot as they danced even though they both were sweating and overheated. Finally after almost an hour of nonstop movement a slow, quieter dance started.

Babette was breathing hard as she stopped, laughing slightly. A low, sultry and praising voice began whispering out a song, lolling the words like chocolate in her mouth, accompanied by a gentle piano. Remus came closer and leaned to her ear.

'Someone once told me of a once-in-a-lifetime, fairy tale love

One that lasts in stories and in the hearts of the world forever and ever

I used to believe such things could happen, such things were real

That love could send me flying to the sky and heaven up above

That your heart's balanced on fate's delicate and tender lever

That love's the best thing you could have, that you could ever feel'

"Do you want to sit down? You look flushed," he asked loudly, not needing to yell anymore. She thought for a moment before shaking her head.

"After this song," she responded lightly, in mild suggestion. He blinked in surprise and looked around. Couples were hugging close together, twirling in slow circles. Most of them were kissing and not even noticing were they were going. Her hand on his made him look back. A small smile teased her from under the white confines of the mask.

"Dance with me?"

Instead of responding Remus tugged on her hand to bring her closer. Babette blushed lightly before raising her arms to wrap them over his shoulders, the hands resting on the base of his neck, twirling them in the soft hair. Timidly, he snaked his hands about her hips and placed them on the curve above her bottom. He waited for her to move again, feeling nervous and stupid.

'I don't know what happened to make my dreams go away

But I need to believe again in those things that made me live

I miss being able to hope for that feeling of joy and happiness'

Laying her flushed cheek against his shoulder, Babette nudged him to move, leading them in a slow rotation. As soon as he caught on Remus buried his sensitive nose in her hair, nuzzling the curls and the smell of vanilla. She sighed and pressed her lips against his collarbone, playing her fingers on his skin. If he had a tail it would have been wagging like crazy.

'My loneliness chokes me up inside, I don't know what to say

I need that light I yearned for cause without it I cannot live

I need someone to bring the sun into the dark of my emptiness'

Suddenly he felt a light vibration through his chest, coming from her. He looked down to find her singing the words lowly, her eyes closed and her lips turned at the ends.

'I believe, I believe in true love and soul mates and happily ever after

But someone's gotta pull me back to my senses before I forget

I know its out there somewhere, its gotta be there somewhere in the world'

Before Remus could think too much he leaned in and gently pressed his lips to hers. They stilled in their murmuring and she froze, making them stop their almost dizzying spin. He felt a low growl rumbling deep in his throat before he kissed her a little more forcefully. Babette pulled away to stare at him in amazement, her mouth open in surprise.

'Its gotta come and bring me some love and never ending laughter

Somehow I know its just a matter of time before I am swallowed by it

Tossed and turned in this feverish nonsense called love'

"Remus," she said timidly, her arms beginning to loosen up on his shoulders. For a good moment Remus regretted with what he did. Immediately withdrawing his arms he looked away, off into the crowd, vaguely angry with himself. Babette fiddled her fingers and stared at the floor in embarrassment.

She reached up and touched his shoulder, trying to draw his attention to her again. He looked to find her smiling again, softly and apologetically. She reached up with her other hand and peeled off her mask, revealing her flushed cheeks and eyebrows.

"Remus," she repeated, shaking her head slightly. He stood still as her hand migrated from his shoulder to the back of his neck, delving into the fine hairs. Remus's hazel eyes slid closed as Babette leaned up on her toes. He waited and waited, even though the loud, pounding music came back on. Nothing happened except that her hand slid from his neck, down his chest to disappear.

Getting confused and frustrated he looked to find her gone. He heaved a sigh before almost yelping. Something had grabbed his shin. Babette sat on her legs on the ground, curled over so her forehead nearly touched the cool ground. One hand gripped his leg and the other arm was wrapped about her stomach.

"Babette!" Falling to his knees, Remus leaned down to peer at her face, brushing tendrils of hair from her hot face. She whimpered and shook like a leaf in pain. Tears coursed down her cheeks, dripping down her chin to splatter on her alabaster gown.

Students nearby had glanced at them, some completely stopping to stare at them as Remus put a hand on her shoulder and made her look up at him. Babette's face screwed up and she sobbed, each cry seeming to hurt her more.

"Remus…Remus, please, get me out of here," she cried out, her voice barely piercing the din. Nodding, he made her stand up, sliding an arm about her shoulders and under her legs. Hefting her up he quickly he hurried through the crowd, passing a worried Lily.

"She's just overheated! Don't worry!" he explained hastily, loudly enough to deter onlookers. Babette whimpered and buried her nose into his neck, her nails digging into his shoulders. Running outside, he passed couples on stone benches and jack-o-lantern seats, girls sitting on boys' laps, lips locked savagely.

Coming out of the stone steps and crowded walkways Remus brought her out to the willow by the lake. A half moon hung above the onyx waters, reflecting back its shining face. A gentle cold breeze whispered through the leaves and grass.

Setting Babette down on the ground Remus kneeled next to her. She looked up at him, her makeup streaked and eyes puffy at his concerned gaze and worried frown. A light smile flitted over her before she grimaced.

"Thank you for getting me out of there. My heart and ribs started hurting and I couldn't breathe," she said softly, trying to breathe steadily. Her chest hitched in staggered gasps but the color was fading from the pained flush.

"I'm sorry," he responded helplessly.

"Its not your fault. I'm sorry that I ruined the dance."

Remus merely chuckled and looked at the grass his hands were idly tearing at, shaking his head. Babette sighed and shivered, rubbing the back of her arms. He looked up at her in the dark, studying the profile the moon showed.

Struggling out of his Frenchman's coat, Remus swung it over her shoulders, baring the thin white shirt he wore to the cold. She clutched at the edges, her fingers dancing along the embroidery. She smiled at him.

"Thank you. Thank you for everything."

"Don't. Not yet. Wait until after next weekend and after the…you might find that I have ruined your life," he responded morosely, his voice low and dark. He could feel her wide, chocolate eyes staring at him and the very heat from her sad sighs.

"You're saving my life, alright? I know it might sound selfish but I don't want to die! Okay? When it all comes down to it, I do not want to die. You are offering me a chance to live just a little longer. So stop beating yourself up," she said, her tone soft but brutal. He looked to find her gaze hard and shining, glittering in tears. He forced a small smile before looking away.

"It's not that simple, Babette. There's a lot of…complications."

A long silence followed, interrupted by the last few crickets of the year, singing loudly in the distance. Babette shifted beside him and he purposefully looked away, his eyes sliding closed. A heavy weight landed in his lap, making him jump and look. She had rested her head on his legs, her eyes gazing out over the lake at the moon. One of her hands stroked his knee next to her lips, the fingertips scratching through the fabric.

Softly, he drew his fingers over her cheekbone, pulling back the curls, threading his nails through her hair. For a few minutes he continued petting her forehead and cheek to her hair, soothing the tense muscles in her face. Slowly her eyes closed and a small smile quirked her lips.

"Remus?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you know that I have never had somebody do something nice for me when there really was no reward? I mean, I've had things done for me but then they'll turn around and…fuck me over, in lack of better words," she admitted bitterly. She rolled over so he could look into her sad eyes. He ran a fingertip over her eyebrow in understanding, letting slip a small smile.

"I know what you mean."

"You know what else? I'm so happy that I am not alone in…this…this whole thing. I never had a real family and all my friends left me when they found out what I am. I just-I just am so glad that you aren't leaving me like they did," she continued, biting her lower lip in fear of some denial. Remus sighed heavily and stilled his hand in her hair.

"Babette, I'm not going to lie to you. This will make it harder for you to keep good friends. You'll always have me and maybe even Sirius and them once they really know you. But, please, don't think that this will solve all your problems. If anything, it will make more."

She seemed to think about this hard, her brow creased slightly, her brown eyes darkened in thought. A somewhat twisted and sardonic smile crossed her lips.

"Yeah, but at least…"

Stopping she lost her angry look before melting it into a clear and surprised expression. Before he could ask what was wrong she reached up quickly and grabbed the collar of his vest, pulling him down to her face. Pressing a strong but timid kiss to his lips Babette waited for a response, lifting her head from his legs.

After a moment Remus responded gently, tracing his tongue along the seam of her lips for permission. Letting him in, she met his probing, curious tongue with her own, letting it chase hers about. A soft moan escaped her and Remus growled a little in return. Releasing her mouth, he put a chaste kiss to her yearning lips before leaning back. He grinned down at her dazed, dreamy face.

To his surprise and almost horror, a tiny tear escaped her wide eyes, tracing down the corner to her ear and hairline. He frowned and danced his fingers over her lips and to her quivering brow.

"What is wrong, Babette?"

She smiled slightly, more tears beginning to slip and fall gently down her face. A wracking cough hit her and she curled up slightly, trying to breathe. Massaging her shoulders he waited for her, feeling very helpless. When her pain subsided he noticed a droplet of blood on the corner of her mouth. Wiping it off he stuck it in his mouth, unable to think or resist the temptation, tasting the bitter sweet liquid on his tongue.

"I think this beast has found a beauty," she whispered.

"No, you found another beast."

"Well, I never wanted an angel anyway."


	6. Chap 6: Kiss Before Damnation

-1

"Remus?" a tiny voice whispered by his ear. Starting, the young werewolf glanced about the dark room with sleepy eyes, trying to focus on the person. He opened his mouth but was promptly silenced by a hand covering it. Blinking he looked at the dark shape which kneeled next to his bed, only inches from his face. A warm glow came from the center stove, casting a red tint to everything.

"Shh, Remus, its me," it muttered again, releasing his mouth with its hand before leaning forward and gently kissing his still lips.

"Babette? You shouldn't be-"

Before he could protest more, she stood quietly and pulled his blankets open a little. Instead of arguing Remus glanced about to see if his classmates were still asleep as she climbed in next to him. Covering herself she lay still, waiting for him to do something.

Reaching out he touched her brow and cheek, brushing a hand through her hair. A sigh escaped her and she snuggled against his palm.

"I'm scared about tonight," she confessed in a small, terrified voice. He frowned, unable to think of a positive response. Instead he scooted closer and opened his arms for her. Babette hid her face against his chest, her hands curled between them, clutching the fabric of his pajamas. Wrapping his arms about her back he felt her entwine her legs with his.

"I know you're scared. I am too," he admitted quietly, being sure not to raise his voice at all. A curious thought hit him. "By the way, how did you get in here? I thought the door was hexed against girls."

"Nope, only the girls' door is cursed. The teachers trust us not to sneak a peek into the boys' dormitories," she said with a bit of an ironic snicker. Remus felt a bit debased at that statement but didn't bother to reply. Babette's warm hands came to life between them, the nails scratching at the buttons and the flesh revealed at the loose collar. Shivers raced through him, goose pimples rising as her touch grew a little bolder, the pads of her fingers brushing over his neck and shoulders.

Remus felt her raise her head up to look at the dark where he was, moving closer. A bit awkwardly, he closed the gap between them and kissed her gently, feeling her trembling a little. This time she tickled her tongue to his lips, begging for entrance. When he allowed her to, she eagerly deepened the kiss, her hands moving down to slide up his pajama top. Remus shifted a little, unsure if he wanted her to do that. Sensing his uneasiness, Babette stopped, her palms resting on his lower abdomen, the heat from them burning a hole to his stomach.

Slowly and carefully, she shifted her fingers up a little more, waiting for his protest. He merely began kissing her a bit more forcefully as a reply. Giving a slight moan at his sudden dominating embrace, she explored his hips and sides with loving touches. Allowing him to control the pace and ferocity of the kiss she reached about to feel the curves and lines of his back. Her nails traced over raised lines on his back, lazily and curiously, unaware of what she was touching. It took her a few drugged moments to realize what they were.

"Oh!" she exclaimed against his mouth a bit loudly. He pulled away from her, ashamed and embarrassed of his scars. For a minute she laid there, her hands reaching out for where he had been, contemplating. Warily but steady she crept closer, sliding her arms about his waist, pulling him closer despite his half-hearted struggles.

Remus waited for her to say something, feeling quite stupid and afraid. He had been worried she would reject him once she realized the extent of damage done to his body and mind. Instead she snuggled against him again, her hands resuming their mission up and down his spine, seeming to relish the clawed scratches along his back and stomach.

Carefully he moved his hands to snake them to the hem of her t-shirt, tugging the edge for a response. Babette froze for a moment before nibbling on his neck in response, kissing the spot where his pulse rioted. Shakily he rubbed his palms over the tender flesh of her lower back, grasping the little baby fat on her hips and belly. A coo or murmur whispered free from her lips by his neck and she shifted a little.

Her lips danced over his jaw line, the soft tongue darting out to taste the skin before they came to his waiting mouth. Locking to his mouth she groaned a little, her nails digging into his back, dragging down in light red lines. Shivering he stroked his hands down her spine, over the clasp to her bra and out of her shirt.

Growling a little in frustration he forced himself to move away, panting slightly. He could sense her confusion and he grabbed her wrists and pulled them out of his shirt. Bring up her captured hands he kissed the palms and rested them against his lips.

"We have to stop, Babette. Its too close to the full moon and I can't be sure of what I'll do," he explained softly, wrapping an arm about her waist and pulling her close. "As much as I enjoyed that, I don't want to hurt you."

He felt her tremble at the idea even though she nodded in understanding. Relaxing in his grasp Babette sighed and slid her hands from his face to wrap about his shoulders and neck. They laid still for a long while, enjoying the others company, her fingers threading in his golden-brown hair and his petting in small circles on her back.

Through the window by his bed Remus could see the light coming in, pale and cold, drenching the world in grey. Tiredly he heard his roommates begin to shift in their sleep. Soon one of them would wake up and he didn't want to think about what they'd say if they spotted him in bed with her.

"Hey, Babette?" he whispered, nudging her slightly. A sleepy 'hmm?' came from her as she shifted comfortably in his grasp. He smiled but sat up on an elbow, disentangling himself from her limbs.

"I hate to say it, but you need to go before they wake up."

"Oh, right. Damn, I don't want to."

"I don't want you to either, but-"

"I know, I know. Alright, I'm going since you want to get rid of me so badly."

Sitting up, she stifled a yawn and stretched in the grey light. He laid back, finally able to see her and study her in the morning's rays. The tumble of sable curls were slightly frizzed and messy from their play, hanging in her face and down her back. There were sleepy, worried bags under her brown eyes. Pulling down the hem of her white shirt she stood up, stretching to reveal a smooth, white stomach and a tiny bellybutton above cotton bottoms.

She grinned playfully, leaning down to kiss him one more time. He smiled at her as she crept around the stove, tiptoeing exaggeratingly to the door, sneaking out and quietly closing without a sound.

After she left Remus lay in his bed, arms tucked behind his head, grinning at the ceiling. But his goofy smile faded in only a few moments, replaced by a sad, thoughtful look. It pained him that, that night he would end her semi-normal life for a cursed one such as his. She did not seem to believe she would regret it but she hadn't lived as he had yet. It tore at his heart to realize that she might very well hate him by the end of the week. It was too late to say no, though. He'd have to do it.


	7. Chap 7: The Bite

-1"Stay close to me when he transforms. He'll be dangerous and unable to recognize any human while in this state," Dumbledore explained seriously to Babette as they headed down the cold, strange tunnel to the Shrieking Shack. She hovered between the elder man and Remus, unsure of which direction she'd rather be towards. The scared and tearful look she had on her pert face made the young werewolf feel bitter and depressed. Dumbledore's words stung him despite their truthfulness.

Throughout that day, Babette had staid close to his side, looking pale and drawn, as if she hadn't slept in days. Although she hadn't spoken a word since that morning, he knew she was terrified. The most life he glimpsed from her was a nibble of food during breakfast and a half-smile when he grabbed her hand. Sirius, Peter, James and Lily all seemed as tense, watching the two of them closely. Only half an hour ago, when they were heading out, all four gave them an encouraging rousing and promised to wait up for them.

The passageway was small and low so they had to go into a line more often than not, slithering up, bent over. Soon they came upon a pale circle of light Remus knew too well. Crawling out one by one, knees dirtied by the filthy wooden floor, each looked about almost warily. Remus had forewarned his friends that Dumbledore would be coming. He had a distinct feeling that Peter was scuttling about somewhere as a spy.

Babette began nervously playing with her ringlets, dancing worriedly on the spot, shifting from foot to foot. The wallpaper was peeling from the walls and bloody stains dabbed the floor under the layer of dust. There used to be lovely furniture in the room they stood in, Victorian style it looked like, but it was all smashed and clawed to pieces. Every window was boarded up with rickety planks of wood.

"Well, we have a few more minutes before the time so…I shall make sure all exits are secured," Dumbledore said brightly to his silent students. His periwinkle eyes studied the sullen Remus and frightened Babette before he swept upstairs, the steps creaking with each step.

Babette wandered over to an unsettled chaise chair the color of musty burgundy and ran a finger over the deep claw gashes in its wood. Her expression was thoughtful and timid. She wore a loose white nightgown, the sleeves puffed gently and the ends reaching her knees. The jumble of sable curls hung down her back and shoulders. He also wore a pair of expendable pajamas, knowing they were about to be ruined as well. Remus nearly jumped when she looked over at him.

"Will it hurt horribly?" she asked meekly, indicating the scratches. Remus swallowed hard, overwhelmed by the desire to hold her and run away from her at the same time. With a mute nod he let out a shaky breath. He could feel it stirring in his belly and soul; that animalistic urge to tear apart and kill innocent creatures, the need to howl and run and eat. The tendons in his limbs were beginning to grow sore with the imminent change and his bones starting to ache.

"It will. You have to stay with Dumbledore. I don't want to hurt you more than I need to," he responded in a dark voice. She looked at him in mystified silence, shocked a little at the deadly tone he had achieved and the strange gleam, almost yellow in his hazel gaze.

Fighting back apparent fear, Babette came closer, trying hard not to flinch. Reaching out she grasped his hand, her fingers trembling badly. A smile flittered over her lips and he forced one in return.

"Everything will be alright, right?"

"I hope so."

"Are we ready?" Dumbledore's voice suddenly rang out. Jumping they let go and turned to find him trotting down the stairs easily, smiling lightly at them. Babette nodded slowly, unsure of herself and Remus lowered his gaze to the ground. The older wizard held a hand out to the girl, motioning her over.

With a final glance at Remus, she allowed Dumbledore to tuck her under his arm, his other hand in his pocket, holding his wand. He smiled reassuringly at the young werewolf who was beginning to groan a little in pain.

The bones in his spine were snapping, reshaping to the curve of a wolf's, the loud crunching reaching the other two's ears. A scream tore loose from his throat as he fell upon the ground, writhing in agony as the muscles contracted in his shoulders and neck. Babette jumped and moved forward slightly as if to go to him before Dumbledore's hand stopped her.

Sounds worse than any she had ever heard were coming from Remus as the cartilage in his nose shattered and his jaw grew to that of a maw. Tears were streaming from her wide eyes as she watched similar ones escape Remus's, pouring down the ruined flesh of his face. Her breath hitched as he moaned and growled. The legs snapped, crunching backward and mending in the shape of a canine's. Dark, thick fur sprouted and grew all over his body like a carpet.

Within moments they looked upon a black and grey wolf, larger than Babette in weight and length, lying still on the dusty floor, breathing heavily. The shredded remains of clothing lay about him, smeared in blood from the transformation. Suddenly his black leathery nose twitched and his head rose, the thick, furry ears rotating in curiosity and alarm.

The hand on Babette's shoulder tightened and she backed up against the headmaster, watching in horror as Remus looked straight at them, his golden eyes gleaming in ferocity and intelligence. The werewolf stood, shaking its body before growling deeply, the hackles raising in threats. Babette moaned in fear as it came closer, sniffing her footprints and Dumbledore's.

What horrified her and terrified her to the point of tears again was that the older wizard gently pushed her out in front of him, almost in range of Remus's sharp jaws. Too afraid to look away she sobbed as the werewolf bared its teeth, the lips raised in anger at her. Sharp, hooked claws clicked on the wooden floor as it stepped closer, snarling loudly now.

"Pro-professor…" she whimpered as it stopped only two feet from her shaking form.

"You must let him bite you once. When he has we will Disapparate from here," Dumbledore murmured in an assuring tone. Swallowing a cry, Babette nodded and forced herself to put out her hand, the tip of her finger nearly touching his nose. She squeaked when he let out a threatening snarl but didn't move.

Remus sniffed her hand questioningly before whimpering softly. To her amazement, his large ears lowered and the hackles fell back. He looked almost frightened of her, the gleam in his yellow eyes no longer as murderous. Babette could hardly believe her luck.

Stepping forward out of the headmaster's grasp she reached out and touched the werewolf's brow, not really hearing Dumbledore's warning call. Before she could react, sharp slicing teeth snapped forward past her hand and up her arm, latching onto the shoulder junction of her collarbone and neck. A scream of surprise and pain flew from her mouth before Remus bore her to the ground, his paws carrying him quickly along the floor, dragging the girl with him.

Vaguely, Babette heard Dumbledore sending out hexes and curses, none of them managing to hit the escaping werewolf and student. Her head was bumped hard against a doorframe as Remus barreled through a boarded door. Quickly her vision faded, her mind and body unable to take the pain.


	8. Chap 8: My Guilt Kills Me

-1A cold, prodding feeling woke her up what seemed like an eternity later. Pain throbbed in her shoulder and arm, making it unbearable for her to move. Her eyes were glued shut by weariness and her throat was clogged in dirt and swallowed tears. Under her she could feel hard, packed dirt and leaves, crunchy and whispering as something moved about her.

For a good moment she couldn't understand as to where she was or why there was such agonizing pain in her shoulder and brain. Snuffling noises near her slapped sense into her, making her freeze in terror.

Slowly Babette cracked her eyes open, taking in the sight of a clear, starry night above her, pierced by cruel looking trees which shook in the wind. The moon peeked about a mountain in the distance, its face half gone behind the stony terrace.

Remus stood next to her, staring down at her with flat ears and sad eyes. Against all sensibility, she reached out and scratched his pelt, enjoying the thick fur despite her pain. The werewolf seemed surprised but panted in appreciation.

Babette forced herself to turn her head as she watched him roll over onto his back in the leaves, his eyes gazing at her playfully, large paws up in the air. It never hit her that she should hate him for the pain she was in. This was what she wanted, wasn't it? It wasn't his fault. What amazed her was that he was so playful now. Perhaps now that he had inflicted damage he no longer felt the need to kill her. Somehow she didn't get the feeling that he knew who she was exactly.

With her good arm she reached out and tussled the hair of his pelt, jumping slightly when he rolled over again, making the leaves scatter again. Crawling over on his stomach he rested his enormous head upon her belly, the size of his jaw easily outweighing her arm. It gave her a jolt of fear to realize just how big he was compared to her. Dried blood was matted on the lips of his maw, caked and dirty.

Reaching up, she patted to find her wound oozing a little blood still, the entire front and arm of her dress stained. She could feel it cracked on her arm and back. Gently she tested the side of her head, finding a large lump there, tender and sore.

"I guess we did it, huh, Remus?" she murmured softly, feeling his ears prick up on her stomach. She scratched his ear thoughtfully, ignoring the pain that grew number and number. Maybe she was dying. Was that why the pain was fading? "You won't be so alone next moon. I'll be with you and then we can run together."

A wall of sleepiness ran over her and her eyes rolled up into the back of her head. For a few minutes she felt her body drift numbly, not feeling or hearing anything at all. Maybe it was hours, she couldn't tell, she didn't care.

A very sharp prod in the arm snapped her out of her daze. A yell of pain shrilled from her and she opened her eyes. Next to her was Remus, human again and very worried. In the pale morning light she could see the creases in his tired brow and the shadows in his hazel gaze. She smiled heavily and shifted, trying to figure out where they were.

The sky had disappeared, replaced by the stone buttresses of the Hogwarts' infirmary. The light dust in the air danced in falls through the morning light, shining gold for an instant before disappearing again. Off in the distance beyond the doors, students were laughing and arguing as they headed towards breakfast, unaware of the events of the night before.

White curtains stood around hers and Remus's beds, shielding them from prying eyes, tucked away in the corner of the school's hospital. Babette watched him as he stood up and sat next to her elbow, his eyes flickering over the bandages on her shoulder and arm. He wore simple white pajamas but the color seemed to dim next to the brown scabs and red gashes on his face, neck and chest. The thick golden-brown hair was tussled and dirty, falling in his eyes.

Babette frowned at the sad, self-loathing look in his hazel eyes, reflecting the turmoil that heated his heart. With her good hand she reached out and touched his, making him focus his attention on her.

"Knock it off," she ordered gently, smiling a little when he glowered at their locked hands. His lips tightened and he shook his head.

"I still can't believe I did that to you. Dumbledore blames himself but-"

"Remus, how many times do I need to tell you that you have done me a huge favor?" she sat up as much as she could, leaning her back against the cold metal railings of the headboard. "You know what? When you dragged me off, you watched after me to make sure nothing else got me."

"Yeah, probably cause I wanted to tear you apart myself," he cut in sadistically, his voice sharp and sardonic. Babette gave him a disapproving and upset look before continuing.

"When I woke up you played with me and let me pet you. Stop blaming yourself for something you can't control. All in all, I think it went fine," she admitted easily. A wince hit her and she grinned a bit goofily. "Well, except for this headache, but, really, I'm fine."

He eyed her in disbelief, breathing a sigh and shaking his head regretfully. In that moment she could see every scar, every line in his face and mind. Her grip tightened on his limp, unreasoning hand.

"I can't just let it go so easily. My conscience is tearing me up, Babette. I feel like the biggest monster in the fairytales. What's worse is that you still look at me like that after what I have done," he confessed lowly, expecting her to reject his thoughts. He looked up to find her contemplative and sad. Reaching up, he tucked a spiral of sable hair back from her face, flinching when she stilled his hand. Pressing her cheek against his palm she gave a shuddery breath.

"There's no solving your guilt, is there? There's absolutely nothing I can do to make you understand?" she asked tearfully, her voice gradually growing desperate. Again he shook his head. Kissing his palm she nodded finally, looking at him with agonized, brown eyes. "Fine, but I'm not going to hate you. No matter that you think I should, I can't."

Remus thought for a moment before giving a humorless laugh and sighing. Leaning forward he tenderly kissed her cheek then her lips.

"Fine."


	9. Chap 9: Unfair Games

-1"I am so sick of people asking about your terribly ill grandmother," James grumbled during Potions, his irritated words floating around Remus to Babette. She leaned over her cauldron and smirked at the annoyed boy.

"Needed to tell something to them as to why I was missing for a week and a half," she replied lightly, adding fried bat liver to her mixture causing it to froth and turn a livid green color. Behind them Sirius snorted and frowned at her cauldron in envy.

"If you are so damn good at Potions then why are you in Gryffindor?" he asked tartly, glaring at his mucky glob in front of him. Peter was doing amazingly well, his potion looking better than James and Remus's.

"Cause…I'm better at Transfigurations, too," she said, a little proudly. Her smile faded a little and she turned about to look at Black fully, her brown eyes studying him. "You're going to be there next time, right?"

Remus stopped and listened to her hushed voice, his eyes trained on the instructions. James however turned around to watch his friend as he nodded warily, eyeing her. It was taking longer for him to warm up to the idea of having her around than it did the others. Sirius found her a little too close to Remus than he liked. His friend had a sensitive stability in the area of relationships and the thought of her getting as dear to Remus as she was bothered him.

Babette frowned lightly.

"Are you sure its safe? I mean, the first time around, is it absolutely safe for you?" she asked seriously, making sure no one beyond the four could hear. Peter looked a little terrified of the idea but shrugged in pseudo-bravery. James rose his eyebrows in surprise behind his glasses, amazed she had worried about it. Sirius himself looked shocked, almost insulted.

"We've been able to be around when he does it for a long time now. Why wouldn't it be?" he demanded, wondering if she found him unable. Babette looked about in flustered embarrassment, a bit angry at his furious tone.

"You weren't there his first tra- time. I just was worried it might be a little more dangerous," she muttered back, lowering her voice. Remus stopped his façade of work before turning to watch at her. Was she really worried or was she trying to con them out of coming?

James considered it for a few minutes before shrugging.

"Never thought about it. You might be a bit more unstable and stuff but-I don't know," he replied, trying to sound nonchalant. The professor walked by, eyeing their potions before turning to yell at a few Hufflepuff's who had managed to turn their mixtures to acid.

Peter cleared his throat, drawing their attention. He looked a little pale and sickly at the idea of being around a completely dangerous werewolf.

"Maybe we should just walk you down this first time. Next time we can come with you," he suggested timidly, fearing rejection of his idea. Simultaneously the other three blinked in surprise.

"Whoa, Wormtail's had a good idea," James commented thickly. He nodded easily. "Sure, if you're really worried about it."

Sirius had the feeling that Prongs really did not take this whole thing seriously. His flippancy annoyed him and so did Peter's paranoid fear. He nodded, although he stared at the back of Babette's curly head darkly.

"So…" Remus's voice made her jump as they headed down to lunch. It sounded more like a purr and gave her shivers as she turned to find him next to her. His hazel eyes were darkened and amused. "Was that whole thing back there a ploy to get me alone or were you really concerned for them?"

Babette glanced about to find the corridor deserted and smiled coyly. She stopped and backed up slightly, her eyes lowered to the floor in mock shame.

"A little of both, I guess," she admitted demurely. Her façade dropped when he came up and leaned against the wall with an arm, his face only inches from hers. She smiled lightly, her eyebrows raised in question. He smirked back, leaning a little closer, his breath playing on her lips.

"Really now?"

"You saying you hate the idea?"

Instead of responding he brushed his lips against her waiting ones before pulling away and walking off down the hall with a self-satisfied smirk. Babette stood there, unsure of what just happened, her heart thundering and legs quaking. Then in hit her of what he just did and she gave an outraged gasp.

"You jerk!" she hollered indignantly before running to catch up with him. As she fell into step next to him Remus cast a sideways, smiling look at her pout.

"Sorry, there was a teacher up the hall," he said quietly, heading into the Great Hall. Babette glanced over her shoulder to find a suspicious looking McGonagall. A bright blush painted her cheek and she ran to her lunch, embarrassed to no end.


	10. Chap 10: Getting A Little Too Hot

-1"Remus, stop it! I can't focus when you do that!" Babette giggled quietly, snorting a little when he tickled her again. Other students in the library cast curious and annoyed glances at them. Leaning over a scroll of work and several books, she squished her ears against her shoulders, curling up slightly when Remus tried blowing air into them. "C'mon, this is due tomorrow!"

He laughed, standing behind her, half crouched over her as he grabbed one of the books. He flipped through the pages, finding the correct one for her assignment.

"Its kind of amazing that you are good at Potions, Transfigurations, Herbology and everything else but when it comes to Charms you…well, you suck," he commented teasingly as he stole her quill and wrote the incantation correctly. Babette gave an indignant gasp and snatched back her utensil.

"Yeah? You suck…you suck big…monkey feet!" she grumbled, trying to focus on her work with no success. Remus laughed at her bizarre insult before leaning against her back and grabbing her wrists, stilling her writing. She huffed but gave up when he knelt and kissed her cheek.

"You dumb wolf. I'm never gonna get anything done!" she squeaked when he nibbled her ear.

"Hey, you can't use that insult on me anymore. If I remember correctly, you are one too," he retorted lightly, going to sit down next to her. She gave him a playful glower before rolling up her parchment and cleaning up her mess. Heaving a bored sigh, she smiled at him and rolled her eyes.

"This is so crazy."

"What is?"

"This. Us. I mean, I look back only a few months ago and I would never have thought that I would be this…happy. Its just kind of nuts," she admitted honestly. He rested his chin in his palm and watched her seriously as she spoke. "I feel like I really don't deserve for it to be this good."

"And why wouldn't you deserve it?"

She shrugged a bit too quickly, trying to keep the air easy and light. Her curls bobbed on her shoulders when she did that.

"Its just that…I kind of grew up with the idea that nothing good ever really happens. I mean my mom, um, she was stupid. Everyday before she left to find my dad, she would tell me that he was going to come back and we could be a family. And one time when she went to find him, she never came back. Nothing good has ever happened to me for as long as I can remember. But now…"

Remus felt his sympathy go out to her as he listened. Her eyes found his and he felt his heart drop at the hidden confusion and sadness in the chocolate depths. Babette similarly found a kind of pain in his soft green ones, but it was so much more angry and hurt than hers.

"I'm so confused. I keep thinking that God is going to reach down and stop us cause this is so wonderful. It scares me. I don't want to give up something I've been wanting for so long," she finished heavily, watching her fiddling hands in her lap. Remus frowned a little at her words. Reaching over he hooked a gentle finger under her chin and made her look at him. He smiled comfortingly, trying hard to dispel her fear.

"You're not going to have to. Trust me. I have done too much damage for me to ever just walk away," he said seriously, grasping her hand and squeezing it reassuringly. Babette smiled up at him in an unsure way, her lips quivering a bit.

"Remus, I've always been damaged. You just gave me a good scar."

He frowned even more and let go of her hand at the mention of the pain he caused her. She looked down again, ashamed of what she had said.

"How is it looking?" he asked darkly, his voice startling her with its sharpness. Standing up, she took his hand and led him up to the dormitories, not able to show him in public. When they reached the empty common room, Remus led her to the boys' dormitories. The other students were gone to Hogsmead, except for a few first year girls who giggled behind the door of their rooms.

"Show me," Remus said as he locked the door, double-checking for other boys. Babette sat down dejectedly on his bed, her bag sagging down to thud on the floor. She knew he was worried about the bite but it made her feel so awful to let him see it. He already knew it was there; wasn't that enough torture for him? Was he so determined to mar his conscience with her scars?

Quickly, knowing the routine they went through every day for the last week and a half, she slipped out of her robe and began unbuttoning the top of her blouse. Leaving the last two buttons, Babette tenderly slipped her right shoulder out, savoring her sore stitches. Remus came over and kneeled in front of her, ignoring her lacy white bra that was now revealed.

Like wicked, nightmarish spikes, black stitches coursed over the deep teeth gashes. They were spread from above her right breast, up along her collarbone and along the shoulder. He knew that the back was similarly marred. Softly he danced his fingertips around the pink tinted cuts, feeling the swollen and sore flesh gently.

Beyond the bitten side her body was a multitude of tiny scars on her arms, dotting them like snowflakes on the caramel-tinted skin. When he had asked what they were, she replied that when she used to feel the pains in her body, she'd distract herself with a smaller one, one she could control. It felt good, she said, to know that she could hurt herself and no one else could do it. These tiny spots were along her arms, shoulders and on her chest, feeling like bumps in bad areas.

None of this seemed to have bothered him, she noticed. Others had shuddered from her as if they were afraid they would catch it like the flu. He merely ran his hand over them lovingly as he inspected the damage he had done and kiss the skin.

"Its looking better," she whispered helpfully, trying hard to not blush. It was still odd for her to have someone touch her with longing than disgust. Remus's eyes darted up to her and he clasped her hands.

"They are. I'm afraid they'll reopen though when you change," he returned a bit darkly. She looked down again, feeling ashamed again. Remus's gaze slid from her lowered face to her neck, drifting down. He knew he shouldn't stare; she had trusted him to let him see for the bite not…something else. But his eyes didn't want to listen to his brain as they drifted. It took all of his control to not kiss her collarbone and sloping shoulders. The intricate lace on the modest bra mesmerized him as they hugged against the plump curves of her breasts.

Suddenly Remus felt a hot stare upon him, burning him like a cold fire. Looking up again he found Babette gazing at him intently, her eyes aflame and dark, the deep depths reflecting something strange. He immediately felt guilty for looking but at the same time he felt stirred, as if she were demanding him of something.

To his surprise, she slid off the bed to stand on her knees next to him. She kept her molten gaze on him as she pushed the shoulders of his robes off him, tossing it away. He felt a flutter of excitement bubble in his stomach and he knew his hazel eyes were darkening like hers. Maybe there was something about werewolves that causes them to become more enflamed with need than humans.

"You've seen more than is fair," Babette whispered fiercely, her soothing voice now hard and wanting. He stared down at her sharp gaze in wonderment. "Let me see…now!"

Remus jumped a bit at her order but he smiled wickedly. He liked this fire.

"Go ahead. I'm not stopping you," he replied flippantly, laughing a bit at her. Biting her lip, she tugged his shirt loose from his trousers, pulling at it a little hard. He let her struggle with it, lifting it over his head and throwing it away. A sting of embarrassment bit him as her dark eyes studied his bared chest and broader shoulders.

Timidly Babette reached out and touched the long, muscled stomach, the fingers brushing the light dusting of hair. Her hands were hot and a little sweaty as they traveled reverently over his narrow hips and up his ribcage, playing over the jagged, old scars on his flesh. A delightful shudder ran through him when her hands gently played along his chest.

"God…" she whispered delicately. Remus felt her breath on his sensitive skin as she leaned closer, kissing the left of his chest where his heart thundered. Her soft tongue darted out and tested the skin of his collarbone before traveling up his neck. A small moan escaped him as she latched to his neck, suckling sweetly as she pressed up against him, her blouse crinkling to his chest.

Remus sighed as her arms wrapped about his waist, the nails dragging lazily on his back. His head fell back as she bit and teased the spot on his neck. A growl echoed from his chest before he toppled her over quickly, aggressively pinning her under him. A delighted squeak came from her before she moaned heatedly.

Almost savagely he captured her mouth in a hot kiss, his tongue piercing and demanding. Babette responded eagerly, meeting him and battling him for dominance. His hands were on their own mission, sliding up her waist to undo the rest of her buttons. Underneath him, she froze, her lips and hands stilled. Remus paused before testing her stomach and small ribs. The girl shifted and sighed, kissing him again, her fingers playing on his lower back.

Almost fearfully he fumbled with the clasp of her bra, trying to unhook it. After a few patient moments it came loose, springing back from the center of her chest. Sitting up on his elbows, Remus gazed down at Babette, his eyes devouring every inch he could see. She looked up at his intent and furious face, at the dark green crystals in his desiring stare and the mussed golden brown hair that danced in his eyes. A purplish bruise formed on the side of his neck, still glistening in spit.

Panting slightly he brushed a hand through her tumbled curls, cupping the back of her skull, relishing the hold he had over her. He leaned down and kissed her flushed cheeks and her reddened lips. Slowly he inched his way down her neck, enjoying her coos and along her collarbone. Dancing his tongue down between her breasts he tickled the nerves along her ribs. His hands slid underneath her to grasp her bottom, kneading the flesh easily.

Babette squirmed under him, her breathing heavy and thick as she writhed. Raising up against the kisses he placed over her abdomen she moaned, her fingers threading through his hair. Dipping his tongue into her navel once he reached up and teased the bra which barely clung onto her plump breasts.

Sliding his fingers under the lacy fabric he bit back a groan at the feeling of her soft skin. Babette jumped slightly when his thumb brushed over her nipple, sending electric shocks up her body. Unfortunately the movement rubbed her stitches over the floor, making her whimper in pain.

"Are you alright?" Remus asked thickly, retreating his hands and mouth. She bit her lip in agony and nodded, stopping tears from coming. Crawling off and away from her he watched in self-anger as she clasped her clothes and buttoned up again.

"Yeah…just got a little too excited," she replied softly with a little embarrassed laugh. Straitening her ruffled skirt Babette leaned over and kissed him firmly but chastely. He smiled at her as she stood up and fluffed her curls, trying to clean herself up from their rough play.

"Shut the fuck up, James!" Sirius's angry and frustrated voice suddenly drifted up from the common rooms. Both Remus's and Babette's eyes widened to twice their sizes before they both dashed madly. Remus tossed on his shirt again and shuffled through James's things as Babette fretted in circles, trying to figure out a way to escape. Footsteps were heading up the stairs accompanied by hilarious laughter. Quickly Remus unlocked the door with a flick of his wand.

Remus grabbed Babette and led her to the space between his dresser and bed, whispering for her to be quiet. As he threw the Invisibility Cloak over her the door opened and two boys walked in. Remus spun around to see James howling in laughter at Sirius who looked like he wanted to rip the boy's air pipes out.

"Would you knock it off, you prat?!" he snarled as he went over to his bed and flopped down, ignoring Remus. James sank down on his, clutching his sides in mirth. Remus swallowed his frantic heart.

"What's so funny?" he asked lightly, trying to sound casual. James wiped at his eyes under his glasses and sighed. Sirius glared at him and Remus darkly, his ears and cheeks red.

"We-we were at the Three Broomsticks and that one girl, Sarah Hutchinson, walked in. Well, she sat down and her shirt wasn't buttoned up all the way and Sirius-"

"Prongs, I'm going to fucking kill you!"

"Popped a boner! Right there! And she saw and threw a mug of butterbeer on him!" James finished crowingly before breaking off into hysterical laughter. "It-was-the-funniest-thing-I-ever-saw!"

Sirius made good of his word and leapt off his bed, making a flying tackle at James. Unfortunately, the young Potter saw it coming and jumped away, out of reach. Sirius landed on the bed and bounced to plop on the floor, a 'oof' escaping him in a whoosh.

"Fucker…" he grumbled darkly but didn't get up. James leaned against the door with a huge satisfied grin on his face. Remus sighed softly, thinking they hadn't noticed a thing when-

"Holy shit! That's a big hickey!" James exclaimed in amazement. The werewolf jumped and heard Babette curse lightly behind him. Suddenly Remus had James and Sirius up and staring at his neck which he vainly tried to cover up. "Jesus, she took a number on you!"

"Knock it off!" he muttered, pushing away their hands. Sirius's gray-blue eyes narrowed and he held a very suspicious look on his face. He looked down at Remus's bed and his brow furrowed.

"Moony? Why is there a girl's robe on your bed?" he asked in steely curiosity. James looked and his eyes widened.

"And why is there a bag on the floor?"

"Why is your hair all screwed up?"

"Is that spit on your neck?"

"Moony, your shirt's all wrinkled."

"Why is my stuff all over the place? Hey, where is my cloak?"

Finally Remus growled loudly and glared at them in frustration. James stopped but stood there waiting for an answer, looking shocked that his cloak was gone and amazed that Remus might have gone far with a girl. Sirius on the other hand looked positively furious and pissed off.

Heaving a defeated sigh, Remus turned around and reached out between his bed and dresser. Gently he pulled off the cloak, revealing a mussed and guilty looking Babette. She gave a weak, silly grin from her cramped position. James's jaw dropped and he stared in dumb amusement as Remus helped her up, both blushing.

"Oooh…" he laughed before running a hand through his jet black hair. "Now, Remus, how long has this been going on?"

The werewolf glared at him angrily while Babette blushed at the floor, kicking her heels. Sirius snorted at them before going and throwing himself back on his bed, his dark hair spreading out on his pillow. With an embarrassed glance at Remus, she gathered her bag and cloak. Leaving without a word she couldn't suppress and smile.

James blew a whistle and chuckled.

"And I thought the whole boner thing was hilarious."


	11. Chap 11: Monsters That We Are

-1

"Will we recognize each other when we change?" Babette asked sleepily, her head pillowed on the soft grass of the lawn under the willow. The grass was the only green left now that the leaves had fallen and the flowers had died. Most spots were crackled and dead, crunching under foot. It was supposed to snow within the week, the chilly gusts from the north causing most students to wear scarves and gloves.

Remus tipped his head sideways, cushioned on the firm but gentle slope of her belly. Babette closed her eyes to the whispering wind above, her hand fiddling with the boy's golden brown locks. He reached up and twisted one loose curl of hers about his finger before allowing it to spring back.

"I don't know. I've never been around another before. I hope we will," he responded thickly, feeling too content to really converse. Rolling over he crossed his forearms across her abdomen, resting his chin on them. As he watched her smile a flop of hair fell over his thoughtful hazel eyes, giving him more of a mischievous look. Babette laughed lazily, reaching up to brush his hair away.

"What's going to happen, Remus? What's going to become of us?" she asked, her tone light but the question serious. He shrugged nonchalantly, too intent on watching her sable curls move across the ground in whispers and feel her ribs rise in breath.

"I don't know. Why? Are you scared of this Wednesday?"

"No, not that. I mean after school. We have this year and next year and that's it. What then?"

Remus frowned slightly, his gaze a little troubled as he sat up on one arm, leaning across her easily. She sat up on her elbows, her brown eyes watching him worriedly. After a few tense and quiet moments she leaned closer and kissed him tenderly in apology.

"Sorry, I keep getting you all worried whenever we talk. I don't mean to," she whispered sadly, studying him for a reaction. The werewolf looked down and smiled at her red and gold scarf, one hand going to play with it, untwisting it.

"Don't think about it. Those thoughts came to me too. I guess we're just going to have to wing it."

Babette bit her lower lip slightly, as if that response wasn't enough. Her long dark lashes lowered in thought before she looked up at him imploringly.

"But what about…what about finding others?" she inquired timidly, her mouth barely moving as she spoke. Remus had reached up to untangle random leaves from her brown curls but now his hand stopped, half against her cheek.

"What?"

"What about finding others of us? What if they're all together somewhere, living together? Shouldn't we look for them? Aren't they as lonely as we are?" she continued, her voice growing stronger with each question. Her dark eyes shined at the idea and the eagerness in her made him flinch.

"You never read on us, did you?"

"Yeah, I did but-"

"Then you know that most of us enjoy who we are. They like hurting human beings. They like to hunt them and bite human children."

"Yes, but surely they're not all-"

"We all are, whether we want to admit it or not. They just like the fact."

"But what if they don't?"

"Babette! There is too much risk in thinking they are like us. Who do you think did this to me? One of those sick bastards did it. He liked it. I remember seeing him smile with his eyes before tearing me apart," Remus cut her off, his generally soft and considerate voice growing hard and bitter and then finally hateful. Babette backed away from him, her own eyes growing sharp in angry tears, cheeks flushed in frustration.

"I'm sorry, Remus, but isn't it a bit wrong to think they're all the same? Isn't that what everyone else thinks?" she stood up even as he did, her fists clenched at his glowing glare. "Isn't that what normal people think of us? We're all blood thirsty beasts that attack innocent people?"

"Is that what you think of me?"

"No, you're not hearing me. I'm just saying that maybe we're not the only ones who live like this."

"Don't be naïve. Not even Dumbledore has heard of werewolves like us. The others are all out there, waiting for a chance to get back at humanity. You don't know what you are talking about. You never saw one of them."

"My father-"

"Your father left before you were even born. He left his child and mate. Doesn't that prove anything to you?!" he growled finally, his words hanging in the stunned and hurt air between. In the back of his mind he realized that maybe he had gone too far but he didn't care. He didn't care when her eyes spilled hating tears and her lip trembled.

"We're all monsters! I am and you are but there is one difference between us and them: guilt. We actually feel guilt at what we are. But underneath it all we are still monsters!" he raged, his nails cutting into his palms as he clenched them tightly. The very muscles in his body shook in tension and his mind burned as he spat out every truth he felt in his heart.

"Is that what we are? Is that what I am? I'll tell you something, Remus, I don't feel guilt!" Babette yelled back in a slightly choked voice. He glared at the cold, steady tears that coursed her face and felt his anger grow.

"You don't?" he spat.

"No! I feel grateful that I am alive! I don't think we are monsters and I never did. If that is all I am to you when you look at me then…" she paused, looking about angrily and clenching her curly hair in frustration at the loss of words. "Then maybe we shouldn't even be together. Maybe I shouldn't even be here, be alive. I only am cause of you. If you hate me then I won't be anymore!"

Her last words struck a chord of fear in his heart but before he could respond she had grabbed her bag and ran, her heavy tears glittering in the light as they fell. He called out after her and began to give chase, ignoring the curious and horrified looks other students gave them.

"Fuck you, Remus!" Babette cried loudly, not turning around as she tripped her way up the main staircase, disappearing around a corner. Remus stopped on the marble step, gazing at where she was. His heart pounded in adrenaline and dissipating anger but now it stung hollowly with a new feeling: regret and terror. Had she meant what she had said?

AN: Forewarning, the next few chapters will be more than a little dramatic. Babette is reacting as I would but I'm a depressed freak who will use anything as an excuse to hurt herself. ' so don't be overly alarmed. Oh, and please review. I have only one and as nice as that is, I'm starting to feel discouraged from posting more.


	12. Chap 12: A Ring Of Salvation

-1"Is Miss Jacobson going to be down soon?" the nurse asked impatiently as Remus stood with her in the main entrance. It was six forty five and she was late. The sun had almost gone down completely in a dull and unloving set. He shuffled his feet and glanced at his watch again.

Remus hadn't seen her since the fight and it worried him. Everyone else had seen her except him and from all accounts, she sounded horrible. The first person to ask what had happened was Lily, demanding to know what he had done. Apparently Babette had taken to hiding in the girls' dormitories and closing her curtains at all times. What had prompted the inquisition was an array of deep, oozing slashes that danced along the girl's collarbone and shoulders. Lily had glimpsed them when they were changing for school. Babette hadn't treated them and they appeared infected.

The second was, surprisingly, Sirius, who had noticed that his latest peeve was no longer around. When Remus had explained that they had, had a fight, his eyes darkened murderously.

"Did she hurt you?" his friend demanded stonily, grasping Remus's shoulders so he couldn't look away.

"No, not really. I just lost my temper and…"

"And what?"

"I told her I was a monster and she was too. She told me that she didn't want to live if I thought so," Remus whispered ashamedly. Sirius loosened his grip, his grey-blue eyes becoming sympathetic; with whom, he wasn't sure. The guilt and regret for his words hit the young werewolf not even an hour after the yelling and it ate at him.

"Have you apologized?"

"No. I'm afraid too."

"Oh."

After that Sirius remained silent, sticking to Remus more than he had in the past few months, barking at prodding students. He was grateful for the sympathy but it made him feel worse. Was anyone dabbing Babette's tears away?

"Remus!" a sudden yell hollered from down the way. He turned to find Lily running up, her pale face flushed from the exertion. In fact she looked as if she was going to pass out from lack of air. Catching her breath, Lily looked up at him with slight tears in her vivid green eyes.

"Babette…she disappeared…took off crying…towards the Forest…no wand…hasn't come back…" she explained in weak gasps, fanning her face a bit as the nurse came forward and patted her back. A weight felt as if it had been dropped in Remus's gut, plummeting to the bottom and pulling him to the ground.

Without thinking he backed up a few feet away from the two towards the front door. Turning he broke into a frantic run, bolting down the stairs to the pebbled drive and dead lawns. He could hear them shouting after him about waiting for Dumbledore but he didn't care.

His heart beat resounded loudly in his ears as he neared the dark, jagged wall of trees, the top of it looming down to engulf him. There was a tiny fear but it disappeared under the idea that she was in there, somewhere, alone and without a wand. On a full moon night.

Stepping into the mesh of pine needles and leaves on the floor, Remus felt a definite drop in temperature as the air became close and chilling. Thankfully, his eyes were better than most as were his ears so he was able to pick his way fairly easily. Every rustle of movement he heard caused him to jump. He didn't have much time; he could feel the tingle of change already.

Lighting his wand, Remus peered in the dark, his tiny glow not seeming to be able to penetrate the gloom that hung above and at all sides. Things seemed to crawl on the trees and in the underbrush, spooking and tricking him. Where was she?

After only a half hour he could tell he was lost. Somehow or another he lost sense of which way was back but that didn't matter at the moment. As the night deepened his senses became sharper. Somewhere nearby he caught scent of another human and of vanilla and tears.

"Babette!" he called out repeatedly as he chased the scent as it wound its way deeper into the forest. Some unearthly thing moaned in the distance but he disregarded it. She couldn't have changed yet and whatever it was, was too big anyway. The smell grew stronger and stronger, tantalizing him and the fact that she seemed within reach. Along with it came the thick odor of blood.

A sudden whimpering cry caught his attention, the noise coming from his right. Veering that way immediately, his light poured thickly upon a huddled figure, crouched against the roots of an immense tree. A slight sigh of relief escaped him as he came closer, recognizing the sable curls and the shaky hands that clutched them.

"Babette…" he whispered, trying hard not to spook her. Unfortunately, he had. Jumping and crying out in fright she curled against a gnarled root, her hands sliding to her sensitive ears in pain.

"Go away, go away, go away…" she breathed in a frightened mantra, rocking slightly. Kneeling down, Remus put a tender hand on her quivering shoulder, tightening his grip when she tried to jerk away. Peeling away her hands from her ears she fought with her to make her look at him.

"Babette, please, it's me!" he murmured soothingly, wrapping an arm about her back and pulling her close. Refusing to look at him she beat weakly at his chest, sobbing loudly.

"No, leave me alone! Please, just leave me alone! I won't do anything bad! I'm sorry, just go away!" she pleaded pathetically. Remus tightened his hold and reached under her mess of curls to force her chin up. Terrified, hurt brown eyes gazed at him in abject horror before melting into a more pitiful expression.

"Remus, Remus, I'm so-so sorry! I was just so angry! I, I…" it was only then that Remus realized what she had done. Grabbing hold of her hands he stared down in fear at the deep ragged cuts that danced over both wrists and down the forearms in almost perfect crosses, bleeding badly all over her uniform and lap. Lying next to her was the culprit, a sharp but jagged rock with pieces of torn skin and blood stains.

"Babette, what have you done?" he whispered in disbelief. She sobbed wretchedly and lowered her head, not fighting him anymore.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. God, I'm so sorry."

Extinguishing his wand for a moment he murmured a charm to temporarily heal the abusive cuts. Babette whimpered at the red light the spell gave off but remained still. When he lit it again, her tears were cold and silent, dripping off her trembling chin.

"Why did you do that?" he asked softly, trying to fight off the pain of transformation. Not now, not yet. It seemed as if she were battling similar problems as her hands and eyes twitched violently.

"I wanted it to end. No one has ever wanted me my entire life. And then you called me a monster."

"I didn't mean-"

"No, you were right. I am a monster. God never meant for me to live. I should have just suffered and died. But I was being a coward. And just now I wanted to die and I tried. You should have let me die. I would have been better off," she cut in, her voice hard and quiet, as if her mind had excepted this concept. Remus shook his head and looked at her almost dead eyes with pleading ones.

"Babette, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. You are so beautiful to me. I need you. I just lost my temper," he said in desperation. They needed to get out of there but she seemed immovable.

"But everything you said was true. All of it. I realize now that there is no release for us. There is no salvation. That's why I did this," she explained distantly, reaching up to pull her shirt open, tearing off a button but not caring. Remus flinched at what he saw. A necklace of swollen and green tinged crosses blazed in the light, one or two of them bleeding a little in agitation. "There is no salvation."

"Please stop saying that. There is, there is. I found mine in you. I love you and you need to stop hurting yourself like you are."

Babette stared at him but she seemed to be looking right through him. A strange expression stole her and her eyes glazed over. He didn't need to ask what it was; she was changing. He could feel it to, his muscles growing sore and tense, the bones beginning to stretch and crack.

Remus caught her as she swooned at the strange sensations that raced through her being. Resisting his own change, he pulled her against him, her heaving back pressed against his chest. Gently he tugged loose her robe, struggling it off her as she moaned a little in pain. On her own she kicked off her shoes as her feet began to stretch.

Keeping her writhing body near him he took off his own robe and set it with hers with his wand. Petting her sweaty brow he whispered soothing nothings as she cried softly. But he couldn't watch, couldn't bear to see her transformation. Closing his hazel eyes, Remus felt her twist and growl in agony. His own change was starting and he could fight it no longer.

Struggling away from her he mutely allowed himself to transform, for once not screaming as she was. Her terrified and pained howling scarred him mentally as he suffered silently. It would only frighten her more if he yelled. Soon her mewling cries became more animal like, growling and snarling.

Once it was over Remus lay still on the ground, his paws under his large maw. He could hear another nearby, panting harshly and whimpering pathetically. His ears pricked and he finally looked about. The intense darkness of human sight was gone, replaced with a black and white wonderland of sharp looking trees and open spaces.

Lying on her side, Babette snuffled the air, her wet black nose moving only a little. Shreds of her clothing lay about, some spotted with a little fresh blood. Her fur was a deep black, almost like her natural human hair. She was a great deal smaller that Remus but with longer looking legs and smoother fur. The paws were white with pale claws along with the muzzle.

Getting up curiously, Remus came closer, growling in suspicion. In the back of his wolfish mind he felt he knew her but how he wasn't sure. The female looked up, her ears flattened to her skull in fear. The lips curled back in warning as he lowered his head, golden eyes piercing her dark doe-like ones. After a tense moment she put her nose to the ground in submission, ears low but not in threat.

Remus trotted closer, sniffing her slightly before leaning over and nipping her cowl in dominance. Babette rolled onto her back, paws up to him in play. He made a slight jumping movement, causing her to spring to her unsteady legs. Loping away, she wagged her tail in invitation.

Taking the lead he ran ahead, letting lose a playful howl at her when she caught up, brushing against him as they bounded around the trees. The cold air couldn't pierce the thick fur they wore and the dark didn't blind them as they chased each other about. It felt as if all human worries and past problems were gone, just for that time and somehow they both knew it.

For a while, Babette just curiously pranced about, smelling and nibbling random plants. Remus followed, snipping at her hind when she ran too fast or too far. Coming back to the area where they had first changed, he pounced on her, making her yelp in surprise and play. Rolling her over, he nuzzled her cowl and neck, tugging her ear gently with his teeth.

Tired from running and playing, Babette lay still, her nose against the ground and tail wagging slightly. Heaving a canine yawn, Remus rested his large jaw across her shoulders possessively, thick ears lowered in sleepiness.

Babette issued a low whine, making him shift a little above her. He looked down to find her licking a cut that danced over the top of her muzzle, her pink tongue unable to get at it very well. Gently he leaned over and lapped at the injury, cleaning up the blood eagerly.

Resting a paw on top of her head, Remus laid against to her, golden eyes half closed. For the first time in his life, he didn't feel completely and utterly alone. Sirius, James and Peter were fun to be around, but they couldn't understand the full animal side like they did.


	13. Chap 13: The Morning After

-1When Remus awoke, the pale morning light was seeping around the trees like a fog, slowly lightening and enhancing the plant life around them. He could feel his human body again and the soreness in it. It felt exhausted but less painful then usual. Groaning a little he looked to his right to find Babette lying there, wide awake. He lay on his stomach, his cheek pressed against the hard ground but she laid on her back, tired eyes to the branches above.

Remus made some sort of noise, making her sluggishly turn to look at him. A long cut ran across her nose and up her brow, not very deep, but enough to scar. Her chocolate eyes were red and pained, slight tears slipping loose. She looked pale and drawn but she smiled weakly at him, none of the less. Long tendrils of sable curls sprawled out around her, messy and frayed.

"I'm so sorry, Remus," she choked, her voice raspy and thick. Her tired hand came up and brushed his thrashed golden hair out of his haggard face. It surprised her that his green eyes still shined so brightly. She felt so tired, so very tired.

"For what?"

"For this," she replied heavily, pointing with a numb hand to her many wounds on her collarbone and shoulders. It only hit him then that they were both lying there naked on the forest floor, bodies chilling in the November air. Remus's eyes traveled along her pale glowing arms and neck, studying the raw looking cuts.

A faint blush stained both their cheeks when his gaze went lower, analyzing everything. He turned slightly on his side so he could sit up a bit. Her chest moved slightly in uneasy breaths, round, pale breasts rising hypnotically. The previous bite had reopened as he had feared they would, bleeding with the necklace she had carved upon herself. Despite his exhaustion, Remus felt like jumping her right then, her with those little cradling hips and long stomach.

Babette took similar liberty and stared unabashedly at his bared, strong chest and the slender but toned arms, the muscles in them highlighted in the dim light. His tussled brown-blonde hair fell into his intelligent and tired face, framing and intensifying his deep gaze. For a good few minutes she laid there, mesmerized by his come hither lips, still perfect, untouched by scars.

Timidly, Remus reached out and drew his fingertips up the skin of her soft belly, twirling about her button and dancing upwards. Almost feather light they danced under the swell of her breast, taunting her. She shuddered a little and shifted her legs, trying to cover more than what needed to be seen. Unconsciously her hand gripped his forearm. Her touch seemed to snap him out of his heated daze.

"C'mon, lets go home," Remus whispered abruptly, drawing his hand away and tiredly looking away, searching for their robes. Babette struggled to sit up, whimpering at the sore pain in her body. She watched as Remus stood up, focusing on his head and fighting temptation to look elsewhere. Despite herself she examined his defined back and shoulders, at the myriad of long, white scars that adorned him.

"Here, put this on until we can signal-"

"I love you too," she interrupted honestly. Remus turned and looked at her as he slipped his robe on for modesty. Babette's large eyes stared at him fixedly, no confusion clouding them, her dark hair tumbled about her face and chest.

Coming over, he put her robe about her bare shoulders, tucking it about her. She grabbed his hands and looked at him intensely.

"Did you hear me? I said I love you," she repeated simply. Remus smiled and kissed her forehead, ignoring the ugly cut she had gotten from transforming.

"I know. I heard. I love you as well."


	14. Chap 14: Its So Unfair

-1"Babette, this isn't fair!" Remus growled whiningly, resting his forehead against her embracing shoulder, one arm easily flung over her stomach. They laid upon his bed, watching the snow falling in whirling tumbles through the window. Christmas break had just started and they had finally managed to be alone.

"What's not fair?" Babette asked lazily, her eyes closed in contentment. He looked over at her before kissing her jaw then her collarbone. Sitting up on an elbow, he smiled at her a bit naughtily before leaning down and nibbling her earlobe. Ever since he had been with her, his confidence felt as if it soared. She looked at him with longing love and with desire, two things he never thought someone would. It made him feel as if he was finally worth something. It didn't matter if people loved as friends said he was fine the way he was. It only mattered when she smiled and held him without disgust or fear.

"We're finally all alone and now all I can think about are things we shouldn't do," he replied lowly, his hot breath tickling her ear. Babette squirmed a little, her face flushing a little, trying to push him away.

"Remus, you shouldn't talk like that," she replied coyly, pretending to pull away. Remus snatched her wrists before she could move, pinning them on the bed by her shoulders. With a determined and fierce grin he stared down at her pouting expression. The scar along her nose was still a faint pink and it would lighten to a white. Leaning down he kissed her brow, her nose and under her eyelids, his tongue darting out to tease the tender skin.

"Oh, I shouldn't?"

"Mm, no," she murmured distractedly, apparently enjoying his attention. Abruptly Remus pulled away and stood up, shrugging at her stunned expression.

"Alright then. Bye," he waved, turning to the door to leave. He heard a frustrated growl before Babette forced him around. A laugh escaped him before her lips attacked his, occupying his ability to talk. Small, needing hands slid up his chest to twine in the soft hairs next to his neck, tugging and pulling.

Reaching down, he grabbed her by the bottom, pulling her up so she could wrap her legs about his waist. Toppling back down to the bed, Remus smothered her into the blankets, his tongue dominating hers possessively, hands kneading her hips. Wrenching away to breathe, Babette moaned when he crushed his lips to her neck, biting and suckling. The sensation caused her to grind her hips up into his, coming into contact for the first true time with his hard desire.

Gasping a haggard moan, Remus pressed back, thrusting against her clothes and her body. Without thinking, he slid a hand up her blouse, under her bra, roughly cupping her breast, fingers pinching. Again she arched herself against him, hands clutching his sides in amazement.

Becoming a little daring, Babette snaked a hand down his waist to brush against the straining length between their bodies. His surprised and aroused moan made her smile in private glee before she grasped him harder.

Gently but forcefully she stroked him, making him groan her name heatedly. His lips captured hers again, branding fire in her mouth. Thrusting through their clothes, they sped up, both wishing they could do more, but both afraid to. Biting back inexperienced cries and gentle screams, the two wolves, tasted and tested, dancing along a brink precariously.

Sounds downstairs finally distracted and alarmed them. Calming down, Remus rested on top of her, hurting almost at the pain in his nether regions. Damn it all. Gazing down at Babette's frustrated brown eyes, he knew she felt the same. With a twisted smile she twirled a finger in his hair.

"Its not fair, Remus."


End file.
